Don’t Ever Leave Things Unsaid
I made the mistake once.
And my thoughts lingered and lingered and lingered until they couldn't linger any more.
“What if?”
“What if I did?”
“Maybe it would have changed things.”
“Maybe everything would be different right now,” I ruminated.
New thoughts came to visit every day.
And when regrets decide to stick with you, they hardly go away.
They give you this irrational sense of fear that maybe, somehow, you could have changed what’s happening today, that not only could you have changed your present, and theirs, but your futures too.
So my thoughts couldn’t stay locked up there, inside my head anymore.
They travelled down, like a fistful of sand that slips right through your hands, braiding a knot in my throat as they passed through.
Once in my left lung, they held my breath hostage.
And then my thoughts, they turned corrosive, like acid, and they pounced on the shield that was covering my heart.
They spread around it whole, trying to take over, outnumbering and dissipating everything along their path.
And night and day, and night and day they went at it.
Thoughts lusted for murder while my heart lusted for peace. Neither gave an inch.
It was a slow, exsanguinating fight, draining me to the point where you could see my soul in the edges of my eyes.
The sort of fight that can only take place because of one reason:
When you avoid external conflict, you create internal conflict.
We regret the things we don’t do, the things we don’t say.
So don’t leave room for “What if’s” a year, two, or ten later.
You chase your own closure and do everything that’s in your power to make things right.
You get it off your chest.
You do all that you can, and then you walk away.
What they do after that is completely up to them, but it’s important to know that you tried.
How else can you expect to sleep at night?
☔ Here, have this umbrella for a rainy day. If you would like to support me, please share my story with your friends and loved ones.