To the people who have inspired me
Maybe one day you'll see this.
To Johnny,
For proving that no matter how different we are as people, honesty and kindness will always set us apart.
Physical, mental and emotional abuse. Betrayal. Malice. And manipulation.
All of these took place right inside your home, a place where there should only be those whom you can trust and expect to be your friends. The people who are supposed to love you and care for you.
What followed the tragic events were years of keeping everything sealed within yourself.
Still, you were brave.
You strongly held on to what you thought was right, and you were patient enough to wait for that very moment to arrive. The moment of truth. Moment which too required great courage, for you were about to expose your personal life to millions of people.
It wasn’t just your life that had to face the limelight either, but the lives of all those who surrounded you. A trial that required you to share everything. The good, the bad, and the ugly.
And share you did. You spoke softly, and through such troubling times, you still managed to make us laugh.
Many of your friends came through. The people supported you. And justice was served, at last.
Although it all ended in your favour, I cannot possibly imagine the pain you and your family have endured in the last few years. I’m deeply sorry about that.
You have shown me that fighting for what is right is worth it. And that good intentions, being kind and having a sense of humour are the most valuable traits we can possess. I’ll carefully preserve them the best I can.
“No cause is lost, if there is but one fool left to fight for it.” (Captain Jack Sparrow, Pirates of the Caribbean)
“Gentlemen, you will always remember this as the day that you almost caught… Captain Jack Sparrow.” (watch the scene here)
To Camille,
For a truly delightful show of sheer power and assertiveness.
You prepared for the trial like no one else.
From the comfort of my home, I watched you closely, excited at every move you were about to do. Whenever it was your turn to speak, I felt like I was witnessing the soon-to-be-triumphant character of an admirable, captivating story.
You were heroic in your determination and you showed everyone that you were in absolute control. And it was so, so thrilling to watch.
Honestly, I couldn’t allow myself to miss it. I couldn’t take my eyes off you and I’m convinced I was just one among many people who felt the same way.
Congratulations on being promoted from associate to partner, you deserve it more than anyone. Pssst, I would definitely not want to be in an argument against you.
By the way, do you remember when you tried to enjoy a piece of candy right before it was your turn to speak? And then you had to spit it out? I thought that was so funny — along with many other moments — amid all the seriousness that surrounded the case.
I’ve seen you outside the courtroom too. Your personality is sweet and bubbly and you seem to be very affectionate and caring.
Confidence, character and dedication I wish to be passed down from you.
To Dr. Shannon,
Frankly, when I first saw you during Johnny Depp’s trial and I heard you were a clinical and forensic psychologist, I didn’t know exactly what it meant. Looking back at it, I think it added to the overall impression you have left on me.
I think you are the person I look up to the most on this list. Partly because I might’ve had a slight crush on you. Your intelligence, wit and lovely smile were too enchanting (so don’t blame me).
Another reason I may have felt so influenced by you was the resemblance you bear to two of my favorite teachers from high school.
Let me explain.
For me, it has always been the people who are passionate about what they do that inspire me. In school, it was never the subjects themselves that made me want to learn. It was the teachers’ love for the subjects they were teaching. If a teacher really loved what they did, it naturally made me want to pay attention and be interested because it sparked a desire in me to try and be like them. I studied so I could share the passion they felt and get a taste of it myself.
My mathematics teacher in primary school used to yell at us and instill fear into the little children we were at the time. I was terrified of the teacher, which made me run away from the subject too. My grades in her class were deplorable (5’s, maybe 6’s).
In high school, however, I excelled at math thanks to the amazing teacher I had there. She loved what she did and that made me put in the work. By the end of my high school years, she was like a second mother to me. Not because she treated me in a certain way or anything, but because we shared the passion she had lent me. I had grown incredibly attached to her, which made me cry like never before when the final exams were over.
Throughout my life, I have stayed the same. It’s the people who are passionate about what they do that inspire me and who make me want to follow in their steps.
The environment we live in can either make us rise or fall. And I’m sure that if I were to spend my twenties around someone like you, I would be determined to become as good a psychologist as I can be and make you proud.
You remind me of my math teacher. And you act and look a lot like my English teacher. She was my favorite too, and she shares your warm smile. In another life, I believe you could have all been sisters. I hold the biggest love for them. And I miss them both so much.
I strive to be as great and warm-hearted as you.
P.S. I have just remembered the muffin story you told during the trial (how random and amusing that is. I loved hearing it back then.)
To Kachi,
The first article of yours that I happened to read was “Remember to write”.
When it came up in my feed, the words immediately caught my attention and I wasted no time opening it.
You start it off by saying:
“There are very few things that have warmed my heart like discovering something I wrote years ago and catching a glimpse of who I was then and how my mind worked in that time — and also, how it has evolved and the convictions I’ve carried with me into the present.”
Which I thought was absolutely beautiful, and it is something that I too will carry with me into the future.
When I went back to read more of your articles, I realized how attracted I was to the way you expressed yourself. It was something special.
At first, I liked you because you wrote about things I wanted to write about, but slowly you turned into something more. My muse.
“Do it for you, before doing it for anyone else
Don’t spread yourself too thin
Is it more responsible to leave my books unmarked?
I’ve spent most of my twenties wandering
Do the things you say you will do”
It was thanks to your choice of words, the aesthetic of your profile, the titles of what you chose to write about. Even your description “Curious observer. One day, I’ll wake up and I’ll no longer be afraid.” was something I adored.
Your voice aspired me to find my own.
I planned to offer the same authenticity to myself. I wished to remain truthful by only writing about the things that mattered to me.
So far, I think I’ve kept my promise. After all, if I’m an honest man, why shouldn’t my writing be the same?
For learning a lot from you, I thank you.
You have been my expressive role model. You are my symbol of freedom.
I wish to find my voice in the hopes that it will be as silvery and splendid as yours.
P.S. While making this article, I came across some other profiles of yours including Instagram and I must say they are just as creative as your writing.
To Felix,
For giving your all to streaming and to your community.
I’ve been watching you since the Overwatch days, though there have been some periods when I didn’t watch Twitch at all.
Each time I come back, I’m happy to see that you are still the same person I have known for so long. You radiate the same energy, which I doubt will ever go away.
One of the feelings you have consistently given us over the years is the reassurance that no matter what happens to you or what happens to us, you will always be there.
You make me smile when I’m sad.
You and chat have made me burst into contagious laughter more times than I can remember.
You gave light to some of my darkest days.
You kept me company when I needed it. To lonely nights you brought energetic music and positive feelings.
You are like a close friend from far, far away. And I’m thankful for everything you have done, everything you keep doing.
You have given great significance to many small things.
The effort you have put into this community has impacted the lives of thousands and thousands of people.
The moments we all shared together won’t be forgotten, for you will remain within our hearts.
Some of the lessons you’ve taught me:
- You won’t be drawn unless you put your name in the hat.
- Always keep going. Never give up. Believe in yourself and what you do.
- The result is irrelevant because the effort was there.
- “I had the same hours if not more when I had 5 viewers, 10 viewers. It was the same. It’s the essence of why you do it.”
- “Relationships are like a rope. If you cut it and tie it back together, it makes a stronger bond. It brings both ends of the rope closer to each other.” (inside joke)
- “Jam a Man of Fortune, and J must seek my Fortune - Henry Averies, 1994” (inside joke)
Thank you again, Mr. Cow. You have been a big part of my life.
I was here, and I enjoyed my stay. Much love xqcL.
I wish to never forget you. And to never give up. Your persistence I’ll try to match.
To Hasan,
I must confess that I have steered away from politics my whole life. Once I found out how corrupt the world was, I wanted nothing to do with it.
A few years ago, I actually stopped watching TV news altogether. There was too much sadness, too much misery. I take things to heart, so I had to lock them out for my own happiness and well-being. I hope you will understand that.
At the same time, I do know it’s important to be aware of what’s happening in the world we live in. Therefore, I cannot stay completely oblivious.
For getting an idea about what’s going on out there, I have turned to you.
You’ve got a soothing voice and you’re very good at what you do. I enjoy watching you because you present the news like no one else. You make us want to learn from the unjust things others do.
I like that you say exactly what’s on your mind and you take joy in educating others.
I also find it hilarious when you imitate other people.
The most impressive thing to me, however, is how good you are at arguing and debating, as well as the proficiency you have reached in English. Most would be shocked to find out it isn’t even your mother tongue.
One day, perhaps my spoken English will match yours, though it is a little more difficult to obtain a native accent when you live in a country other than the United States or the United Kingdom.
You are reasonable, calm and thorough. You like being well-informed and you seem to have a strong sense of morality and logic.
I hope I’ll grow to be as mature as you are. Regarding my communication skills, I’ve already begun working on them.
To Jesse,
For his cinematic work. For giving already-astounding characters even greater glory.
With the help of your videos, I can relive complex stories in just a matter of minutes.
This video of Thomas Shelby continuously plays, either in my headphones or blasting on my stereo speakers at home, with almost every workout that I do.
“Exceptional, moving, empowering” is the way I would describe your storytelling. It’s such a wonderful depiction of the characters’ struggles and arcs. How they came to be who they are. What they have gone through. How they evolved and broke down, only to find themselves evolving again.
Here is another one of my favorites, Rust Cohle, from the outstanding first season of True Detective. It sends chills down my spine every time I watch it.
Your masterpieces have put me on my feet, madly driven and determined, many, many times. They fill me with emotion like nothing else. Keep doing what you do.
To Ragnar,
The only fictional character on the list (if we exclude Captain Jack Sparrow, Tommy and Rust Cohle). A character who has further shaped my still-evolving personality, together with my beliefs about religion.
I simultaneously dedicate this to Travis Fimmel, the actor who played him in “Vikings”, for succeeding in delivering one of the best performances in television history.
If you haven’t seen the show, I highly recommend it.
“It will be at least another day before I am put to death. You and your gods are wrong. You see, I guided my fate. I fashioned the course of my life and my death. Me. Not you. Not the gods. Me. It was my idea to come here to die.”
”I don’t believe in the gods’ existence. Man is the master of his own fate, not the gods. The gods are man’s creation, to give answers that they are too afraid to give themselves.”
Ragnar, of you, I ask for your strength, madness and desire.
To Erin,
Whose book, The Night Circus, I have yet to finish.
I am barely 100 pages in and I can already claim that this is one of the best books I have ever read. I hope the hype stays with me until the end.
I knew I loved words, sure. Sequences about dramatic love, friendships, or romance tend to get the most out of me. Descriptions, however? I never knew they could be so brilliant, so vivid.
Some of your descriptions have made me pause and look away from the pages that were lying in my hands, so I could brightly smile and think to myself “how wonderful”.
Mme. Padva:
“On this evening, Mme. Padva wears a dress of black silk, hand embroidered with intricate patterns of cherry blossoms, something like a kimono reincarnated as a gown. Her silver hair is piled atop her head and held in place with a small jeweled black cage. A choker of perfectly cut scarlet rubies circles her neck, putting forth a vague impression of her throat having been slit. The overall effect is slightly morbid and incredibly elegant.”
Tsukiko:
“She is small, but not tiny. Long midnight-black hair is artfully knotted in elaborate braids upon her head. She wears a dark coat that is too large for her, but she carries herself in such a way that it seems to hang like a cloak and the effect is rather elegant.”
““What brings you here at this hour?” Chandresh asks, perplexed. Stranger things have happened at la maison Lefèvre than unexpected entertainment, and the pianist does sometimes send a replacement when she is unavailable for a dinner.
“I have always been nocturnal” is Tsukiko’s only response, and she does not elaborate as to what twists of fate brought her to this spot at this time, but the smile that accompanies her cryptic sentiment is warm and contagious. The Burgess sisters beg Chandresh to let her stay.”
“She wears a thin wisp of a gown that would likely be considered scandalous in other company, but this gathering is not easily scandalized. It is more a delicate swathe of red silk held in place by a tightly laced corset than a proper dress.
And it is not the relative insubstantiality of her clothing that causes Marco to stare, but the tattoo that snakes across her skin.
At first, it is difficult to discern what it is, the shower of black marks that curls around her shoulder and neck, ending just above her cleavage in the front and disappearing behind the laces of her corset in the back. It is impossible to tell how far beyond that the tattoo travels.
And upon a closer look it can be discerned that the swirl of the tattoo is more than simple black marks. It is a flowing waterfall of alchemical and astrological symbols, ancient marks for planets and elements all emblazoned in black ink upon her fair skin. Mercury. Lead. Antimony. A crescent moon sits at the nape of her neck; an Egyptian ankh near her collarbone. There are other symbols as well: Norse runes, Chinese characters. There are countless tattoos, and yet they meld and flow into one design gracefully adorning her like an elegant, unusual piece of jewelry.
Tsukiko catches Marco staring, and though he does not inquire about it, she says quietly, “It is part of who I was, who I am, and who I will be.” And then she smiles and walks into the dining room.”
The beauty of your style pushed me to go ahead and write Christie’s Ballroom, and I have the feeling it will continue to inspire me the deeper I get into it.
I wish to acquire your vast levels of creativity and magnificent, written language.
To Jermaine,
Another winter has arrived with my soul still savouring your songs.
And though I can’t really put into words how much your music means to me, I gratefully cherish it because I don’t know where — or who — I’d be without it.
Some of my most difficult and happiest times have been accompanied by the favorites that I keep playing on repeat.
Love Yourz
No Role Modelz
Rich Niggaz
Let Nas Down
Trouble
Power Trip
She Knows
Land Of The Snakes
Miss America
Born Sinner
Is She Gon Pop
a m a r i
Middle Child
Neighbors
January 28th (Live)
Fire Squad (Live)
A Tale of 2 Citiez (Live)
Apparently (Live)
They have witnessed moments of quiet desperation but they have also seen me happily sing at the top of my lungs.
Oh, man, and do I sing them. In my car, in the shower, in my room, while I’m training. All with the widest smile across my face.
You are undoubtedly my most listened-to artist. Not only that but according to Spotify Wrapped, I am in your top <0.1% of listeners year after year, which makes me incredibly proud.
I am thankful I got to live at the same time as you.
I will forever be fond of the music you have made and what it represents for me.
I keep my head high
I got my wings to carry me
I don't know freedom
I want my dreams to rescue me
You are all remarkable people.
Thank you for assisting me on my journey, for letting me absorb the most meaningful pieces of yourselves. I have cautiously fit these pieces into the puzzle that happens to be me. And I promise to shelter them deep within, far away from anyone’s ill will.
I love you all, sincerely.
☔ Here, have this umbrella for a rainy day. If you would like to support me, please share my story with your friends and loved ones.