Where it all starts
The beginning of my story.
Hi. My name is Alex, and the real reason for bringing you here today is… well, I can’t tell you, yet. What story would that be if you just knew everything from the get-go?
You can start reading a book from page one. Some people start with the ending and are intrigued by how everything got there, but neither will know the in-between, the turning points, the characters’ arcs, where the surroundings caught on fire, what was in the text that forever changed a life.
“Wait, wait, wait. Hold on a second, Alex. Whose book are we even talking about anyway? Is it a novel? Is it a poem? Is it fiction or is it real-life? Is it even… a book? Alex, are you trying to portray your life in the form of this mysterious book? I knew you were planning on laughing at yourself more and being more charismatic, but I didn’t think you would take it that literally.”
Shushh! Since when have you become so defiant? Before I gloss over this little mischief from my inner child who’s seemingly taking custody of me, I would like to say that this is where my book starts. And I won’t spoil it.
“I hate to break it to you, but you sound like a broken record, Alex. Secret here, secret there, but you haven’t even said anything yet! You have to at least lead us on, you know? Give us a spice bomb, a late notice that sends the main character to the hospital or the army, a forbidden kiss that happens in the hallways while the culprits were supposed to be in class, a dropped glass, an unexpected punch that puts the hero to the ground as everyone gasps in disbelief, anything!”
My lips are sealed.
“‘My lips are sealed’. Booooriiiing! Your lips surely weren’t sealed on that late-night drive to the outskirts of Bucharest. Let me see, let me see, who was weeping then, being an 80km/h menacing torrent of tears and grief? Surely couldn’t have been you. You don’t strike me as the talkative kind.”
Maybe cut down on the subtlety? Thank God I’m not that embittered anymore.
“What are you anymore? You dream of people not recognizing you and unfulfilled fantasies. Fill me in, please, I’m dying to find out.”
I’m determined, focused, consistent.
“Oh, give me a break, I didn’t know I was partaking in a job interview. Spare me the bullshit.”
Wow, wow, wow, language!
“Where’s that fiery, barefoot, stop-at-nothing Alex running through the grass in the dark just to keep playing football? Should I mention the sharp iron thingie he could’ve stabbed himself in at any point? As if the grass wasn’t rough enough.”
That was…really long ago.
“Not everything gets better with time. Yeah, you look better, and yeah, you’re accomplishing a lot each day, but what’s the point?”
What do you mean what’s the point? The point is a better life, to live a more fulfilling life.
“Exactly. So why aren’t you doing that? Where’s the little boy who stood by something? I remember him. He was passionate, he was relentless, and he was having fun at the same time. There was no shame, there was no one out there who could put him down. Whatever he loved, he put his mind up to it and got there, and he proved he was capable. He became one of the best in the world at something not once, but twice. Surely it must account for something, even if it wasn’t a national sport or an olympiad. The excitement is gone. I won’t go as far as asking ‘What would you die for?’, but what are you living for, Alex?”
To be continued…
It may be blurry and it may be incomplete, but this is just the beginning of the story, a story where I keep all the promises I make to myself. And so should you.
☔ Here, have this umbrella for a rainy day. If you would like to support me, please share my story with your friends and loved ones.